Troopergate (the investigation into improper firings by Gov Sarah Palin) is admittedly way above my paygrade, but it is an interesting story, so I include it today just so you know whats going on. I'm here to help.
Interesting facts: what is in my paygrade=pro-racism, anti-Semite, anti-retard, anti-adopted people, anti-Samoan, and pro-hooker. Kinda like Charlie Sheen.I have long been a proponent of drilling wherever and whenever we can. Middle of the ocean--DRILL BABY DRILL. Low income housing on the southside of Chicago--DRILL BABY DRILL. Some wop's greasy hair--DRILL BABY DRILL. Let's put a fucking derrick in the middle of every playground in this nation. And don't stop 'till you see magma!! (Ed note: I'm really not against exploratory drilling for new and plentiful sources of domestic energy, but I am against kneejerk slogans vomited from the mouths of neanderthals who think there are vast swaths of oil 7ft under the borders of the United States that will return gas prices to 88cents a gallon.)
2) More news from monolith Google, as their new cell phone is set to be unveiled near the end of the month. So now you can talk on your Google phone while watching your Google tv eating your Google corn flakes with Google milk and Google bananas and Google spoon and Google bowl and......
3) In sports, The Cubs won again, this time against the Milwaukee Brewers, spoiling CC Sabathia's gang rape of the National League. The Brewers have taken over the Cubs spot as the September Humpty Dumpty. Cubs magic number=4
The Rays regain a one game lead on the Red Sox, which pleases me to no end.
Houston Texans football coming in to taint the hallowed ground of Rice Stadium, home of one of the worst football programs in history? Thank you but no thank you. I'm a purist.
4) Did you hear about the death row inmate who was so fat they couldn't execute him? No, it's not a joke. Well, I guess it sounds like a set-up for a joke, but I was really just asking you if you had ever heard of him. Yes, I think it's funny. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know your dad was a morbidly obese death row inmate also, I apologize.
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Bearclaw?
5) In entertainment, looks like someone just found out about the wonder and majesty of the red band movie trailer. This article has several examples and why they are great. Like the way the red band for Sex Drive is much funnier than the green band. green first, red second.
NBC is offering some of the new show early, so get on my best friend, lover, and constant companion, www.hulu.com, to partake in the sweet, sweet early goodness.
6) The Chevrolet Volt, the newest commercially viable electric car, has been introduced and it sounds pretty cool if they can get it to work as reliably as a regular car. No real joke here.
Well, that's about it. It's like George Carlin said: "Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He'd say, 'I'm going upstairs to fuck your grandmother.' He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old."
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