My Photoshop skills are unparallelled. Period.
2) The first amendment guarantees the right to assembly. And thank the founding fathers it does, otherwise we wouldn't have 2000 Hells Angels getting ready to blow Altamont out of the water.
3) In sports, I watched about 6 minutes of the Eagles-Cowboys game, but I sure wish it had been on Sunday, when all I did was lay around, watch football and nap. It was, besides maybe that crazy Broncos game, the best game of the week.
Washington Redskins TE Chris Cooley is known for his blog, website, and all around awesomeness, so it should surprise no one that he would post a picture of him studying the playbook in the nude. Sometimes Chris Cooley just needs to let it all hang out when in a locker room full of guys. It's how he rolls.
Speaking of that Broncos game, famous NFL ref Ed Hochuli, who can and must rip your leg off at the thigh, will get bad grades for his performance in that game. This means its possible Ed won't get graham crackers at naptime. I can't actually think that one game is going to bring ole Ed down from his mountaintop.
Oops. I want the Rays to do well, because of my decidedly non-east coast bias, and by east coast I mean Red Sox/Yankees who suck the air from any room.
Ted Lilly takes the Astros to the seventh with a no hitter, giving the Cubs a win and moving their magic number down to 6.
I'm not a baseball general manager or anything but apparently a 11-14 losing slump and a 4 game sweep by the Phillies isn't such a hot thing for a manager to have happen under his watch. Which is why the Brewers fired manager Ned Yost yesterday. Sorry, Ned. See you in Seattle.
4) Everyone in a while these stories pop up when people call 911, or in Britain 999, for nuisance calls, in this case because a rabbit this lady bought didn't have floppy ears. I'm just glad that this kind of stupid shit isn't left up to us Americans as an exclusive marker of idiocy.
5) In entertainment, the sky shone blue once again, the air smelled sweeter than it had in years. The animals came out of their hiding places to drink from the cool, clear ponds left behind by a merciful god. The clouds rolled back to reveal warm rays of sunlight lightening the very molecules of oxygen surrounding us, as a tiny blue sparrow lit upon my shoulder to sing a merry tune as I found out that the originator of the MTV cancer, Total Request Live, is going off the air. Wait, napster still exists? I thought it died with yahoo and gateway computers...
And in the most important news of the day, House is back!!! It has moved to 7pm central on FOX, to make way for the entertaining Fringe to follow at 8. Let's catch up with the docs from House, in case you missed last season. And don't worry, there are no season 5 spoilers.
Well, that's about it. It's like Jennifer Morrison, as Dr. Allison Cameron said on House: "Sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy, and if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago. [pause to breathe deep and stare at each other] Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. Do you know that women can have an hour long orgasm?"
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