Tonsils Are The New Black

Hey guys! Do you know what Twitter is??

Twitter is a fantastic communication medium! Twitter is a micro-blog where you can share all your inner thoughts and feelings with the entire world as long as they are within 140 characters. 140 characters, you say? Yes, I did, and please don't interrupt me.

Twitter allows you the freedom to express every single minute detail your tiny mind can think, and this is SO GODDAMN IMPORTANT to our generation, myself certainly included. Now, you might say, "But Russell, isn't twitter just like my facebook status? I've been using that and I don't see any reason to stop."

Well don't.

But here is the genius of Twitter...almost none of your friends are on it. Unless ALL of your friends are as hip as you (and let's be honest: they aren't) a great deal of them aren't on Twitter. And it stands to reason you probably don't even know if any of them might be. You've been busy cultivating personal relationships with human beings...loser. This means that you can say ALMOST ANYTHING about ALMOST ANYONE regarding ALMOST ANYnoun that you wish because no one will see it. Unless you have twittered so much back-and-forth that you've developed a "twitter-friendship" between yourself and the Mayor (@MayorGlover) of your city...I'll go ahead and say that changes the content of your tweets slightly.

Seriously, the great positive from twitter is the speed in which you can access information. I follow a great many comedians, news outlets, media personalities, et cetera et cetera. Twitter allows a person to access news not only first, but perhaps news he/she might not be exposed to otherwise. Also, hashtag games.

Hashtag games are played by twitterers as they take a certain topic and try to one-up each other with their cleverness...it's one big circlejerk, but they can be great fun, as I found when one of mine caught on with my followers on November 30.

#tonsilfacts

#tonsilfacts is a hashtag game in which you try to make up anything related to the human body part, the tonsil. The faker, the better. My favorites, along with their twitter name (GET AN ACCOUNT! FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE!!) are below:

RussellWCrews The weird white guy in the Black Eyed Peas was grown from Jamiroquai's tonsils #tonsilfacts

brianvernellis It took a team of Swiss surgeons three days to remove Chuck Norris' tonsils because they put up such a fight #tonsilfacts

jtison83 Several tonsils were briefly involved with the investigation into where in the world was Carmen Sandiego #tonsilfacts

PUNTE A hospital staff didn't take out Chuck Norris's tonsils. Chuck Norris's tonsils took out an entire hospital staff #tonsilfacts

RussellWCrews Cleopatra's tonsils once killed an asp, starting the bitter Egyptian/asp feud which persists to this day #tonsilfacts

jtison83 If it wasn't for tonsils we wouldn't have butter. #tonsilfacts

focusedLINZ How am I going to afford all these Christmas presents?! Good thing tonsils grow on trees #tonsilfacts

jampigott Little known fact:David Lee Roth&Eddie Van Halen feud was due to their constant disagreement on who's tonsils were bigger #tonsilfacts

RussellWCrews What is "The Event"? Your tonsils know... #tonsilfacts

jampigott One of the 23 flavors of Dr. Pepper is actually tonsil. #tonsilfacts

jampigott Attention ladies: mascara is made from bat shit and tonsils #tonsilfacts

RussellWCrews "It looks like I picked the wrong week to quit tonsils." Airplane #tonsilfacts

DerSmit "Momma always said life is like a box full of tonsils, you never know what you might get." Forest Gump #tonsilfacts

See? You can get real creative (re: weird) with it, and the fun never has to end. So just get on and play around. Find celebrities you like and you'll learn just how funny, or most likely, stupid, they really are!

Maybe they should pay me for this endorsement...

And now, on the the VOTD. That's Video of the Day. I decided if I was going to do one, I might as well make it a feature...