Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-December 18, 2007CE

I am going to shoot coffee in between my toes and try to gain some creativity for another article today, but until then...

1) Although these men are probably very very dangerous and possibly insane, you have to admire their style. Breaking out of jail in the most classic movie way possible, they literally dug a hole in the wall. I was surprised they didn't ride a motorcycle over the fence and then sneak across the border dressed as Nazis.

2) When is the fact that people are not going to move back to New Orleans going to stop being news. It seems like every quarter we read about how the poor blacks are not returning to the area, and no kidding. This article highlights a perfectly good reason: wherever they moved is most likely a better place than New Orleans. Sucks to say, since I personally love that city so much also, but it was taking your life in your hands going down there, and still is. Doesn't mean I will quit visiting, but i don't feel the need to live there any longer. I lost my death wish.

3) Well at least Conan is returning to the air, I could give a shit about Leno. Actually, truth be told, I never remember to watch the late night talk shows. There is just way too much free porn out there on the Internet. On a related note, do you have any soothing balm for chapped skin?

4) True or False: I desperately need a pygmy possum from Papua New Guinea. Of course the answer is true. That guy could spend the day kicking ass all over my back yard, and I could teach him to attack squirrels, and I would name him Martin, and once we got done playing for hours on end we would both fall upon a pile of leaves and stare up into the sky and see what shapes we could see in the clouds. I would see a race car, and Martin would of course see various insects and leaves, or whatever the hell he eats. Then we would laugh and laugh and fall asleep right there in the back yard. The perfect ending to the perfect day with my best friend, Martin, the pygmy possum.

Well, that's about it. It's like Molière said: "A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant one."