Many hundreds of apologies for yesterday's lack of an update. We got new people at work yesterday so I was fairly busy with that. Then my internet was down at the house. But enough with the excuses. Let's get to the extra jam-packed AMEO:
1) An Alaska man decides enough is enough and solves his problems like anyone else would. He kills his father with a machette and then "just wanted to kill a few more people along the way." That man: Colin Farrell. No, but seriously folks.
2) The Patriots remain undefeated, as Baltimore grasps defeat from the jaws of victory Monday night. I know two things about this game. I saw the last 14 seconds, and boy let me tell you, they were heart-pounding, adrenaline pumping mayhem. Well, a Boller Hail Mary that connected to Mark Clayton but was stopped 3 yards from the end zone. I also know that the GoldenBoy, Tom Brady did diddly poo and got me squat for my fantasy team. Thanks, Dream Boat, you jerk.
3) If any of you were wondering what to get me this holiday season, look no further. I want to hunt a grizzly bear. It's always something with these prickly environmentalists and zoologists. Next they won't want me to eat Bald Eagles and hunt baby seals with Brontosaurus eggs.
4) A review of the new Steve Martin autobiography. Did you know Steve Martin was the producer's original choice for Blade? Steve Martin shot a caribou in the leg, and then nursed it back to health on the set of Father of the Bride 2. Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy hold the record for most appearances by a major comedy legend in unwatachable, unfunny, unoriginal pig waste. Fun facts from Slate and Steve Martin!
5) This guy really really hates Hanukkah. But don't worry, he hates Christmas also. A lot. It's possible he also hates Ramadan, Arbor Day, and his mother.
6) Bridge? This is the new problem facing Britain and the United Kingdom as a whole? I love news organizations so much.
7) Science! Technology! Missing Chest Cavity! This and so much more were found back in 1999 in North Dakota in a dinosaur fossil unearthed. The specialosities of this find are the organic components that were also fossilised, not just bones. Skin, scales, tendons and more are available for study and replication, eventually overtaking man and returning the dinosaurs to their rightful place as the dominant creature on Earth. Buahahahahahaa. Oh, sorry...um... sorry.
Well, that's-finally-about it. It's just like Jack Benny said: "I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early."
It's also like Clark Gable said: "Hell, if I'd jumped on all the dames I'm supposed to have jumped on, I'd have had no time to go fishing."
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