Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-November 2, 2007CE

1) Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I have bad news to report. We are dangerously close to losing our most precious natural resource. Something without which we simply cannot survive. Yes, I am referring to the imminent strike from the Writer's Guild of America. After prolonged contract negotiations regarding a bigger cut of DVD sales and a larger slice of whatever comes from the new digital age were rejected by the alliance of studios, the writers are getting ready to strike. That means that once the scripts already written are used---there will be no more. What will happen to Chuck? I HAVE TO KNOW!!!!! The Late Show with David Letterman has been making light of the situation for a couple of weeks now, using their head writer to defuse the situation with humor, but it will really put a damper on things in the daily comedy realm. Being an unabashed television junkie, I am worried about this, mostly because it will force me to, gulp, read.

2) The Los Angeles Dodgers hired former Yankee manager Joe Torre to a three year, $13 million deal. This should be interesting. Torre takes over a not-so-hot club that was picked to come out on top of the NL West this year, but instead finished fourth. I am just worried about his delivery during the traditional Dodger manager Slim Fast commercial:

The weekend is upon us, dear reader. For your own sake, treat today as if it was your last. Go home, give Captain Kitty Q. Darlington, Esq. an extra treat in her bowl, take a nice hot bath and fix a steaming pot of chamomile tea. Take some time to relax after a hard day of work. You deserve it. Remember, that Toni Morrison book your aunt gave you isn't going to read itself!

And when you wake up from a restful sleep, turn your dial to ESPN, and watch a geriatric midget lick Pete Carroll's bootheel and put sweaty helmets made to look like animals on top of his head. It's a good thing.