A New Coat Of Paint On A Rotting Deck

Joe Torre was introduced to a throng of reporters in the middle of Dodger Stadium today. Surrounded by the rest of the Dodger greats, median age 105, Torre took the reigns of a club who's mediocre baseball ability is only matched by it's history as one of the great teams of yore. Remember when the Dodgers meant Jackie Robinson, Ebbett's Field and newsboys shouting extra on Flatbush Avenue. Well neither do I, because I didn't fight in the Spanish American War.

The Dodgers haven't won a World Series since 1988. My god, how do the millions of Dodger faithful even sleep at night? It's almost as if the Cubs haven't won in over one hundred years, or some teams that have never won. Boo-fucking-hoo. I am a big fan of these whiny California bonerhogs who powder their cheeks in the bathroom of Dodger Stadium and pretend to not look for the camera and more middle class wankers who are apparently so gluttonous they need all you can eat sections in the outfield.

Let's Go Have A Tom Collins And Nail Rosie The Riveter (Historical Inaccuracy Noted)

Remember, a famous manager will completely fix the mechanics and habits of a 30 year old ballplayer in just about 4 weeks. I call a Dodger Dynasty for the next decade!

One person who I do admire in this story is Don Mattingly. This guy wore the pinstripes forever and got screwed with his pants on for the top job in the Bronx. So he did what anyone would do. He told them to fuck off and followed his boss out to LA. I love that. Although I do wonder why he didn't go for another of the open coaching positions. If he's almost good enough for the Yankees, he's almost good enough for everyone else too.

Fun Fact: The Dodgers and the Cubs have a peculiar connection that is exclusively theirs. Dodger blue and Cub blue is the exact same shade on the Pantone scale. Take that info back to your job and impress the hell out of your boss. If that doesn't work, just make lewd remarks about Marsha in Accounting. She wants it!