1) Get out your hankys and be prepared to cry a river. It so sad that its been 37 years since you could get a real nice delicious boiled sheep's stomach stuffed with sheep lungs, heart, liver and oatmeal. Just because lungs aren't safe to eat doesn't mean you can deny the health food aspect of the oatmeal. USDA, please take your head out of your ass and allow good hardworking Americans to gut an animal and stuff their organs in a sac, boil it, and in turn eat it.
2) Once again proving that Rome is burning and the fuel is stupidity and mental laziness, Meet the Spartans, another wonderful spoof movie from the people who brought you every slapstick spoof movie not under the American Pie umbrella, came in 1st at the box office this weekend. I can't explain the movie to you, but suffice it to say I walked out of the trailer. The first Scary Movie is ok, mainly because there are Wayans in it, and not the Marlon kind, the Keenen Ivory kind. It all went down hill. I haven't even seen Date Movie or Epic Movie or any other "Noun" Movie because these people are trying to rape the souls of the Zucker Brothers and Jim Abrams and I will not participate. If kids will please stop putting glitter on their cell phones and considering Clueless a "classic", wake up from their MTV induced comas and learn something about pop culture before 2006, I promise you, they will be happier. They don't know it yet, but they will. And they will possibly be able to tell their children about Airplane or Fletch and explain to them what true funny is. Hint: It's not celebrities farting.
3) It's the 50th anniversary of Legos. I played with Legos as a kid and they are fun. That's about all I have on the subject.
4) If you don't like your money, but love sports, then this is the investment opportunity for you. Go ahead and tool on over and buy shares in Randy Newsom, a minor league pitcher with a 50-50 shot at making the bigs. You, yes, YOU! can participate in Randy selling 4% of his future earnings to ordinary joes like you and me. How do I get in on the ground floor of such a granite financial windfall? Well, take the lobotomy chisel out of your eyes and go on over to his website.
5) Wow. Wow. This is just about the craziest thing I have seen in a while. Joe Friday and Bill Gannon would not be happy with this turn of events. This is just going to cause a rise in parents getting so stoned they give their baby daughter a bath in the bathtub with the water running and then just forget what they are doing, get up and sit on the couch being stoned, leaving her to drown. That was an actual episode of Dragnet. There is also one where kids on acid literally try to climb the walls and eat paint. I love Dragnet.
Well, that's about it. It's like Jack Webb as Sgt. Joe Friday in Dragnet said: "Do the youngsters know what these goofballs are made of, son? "
Monday, January 28, 2008
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I used to love dragnet, even though it scared me just a little bit to watch it. I remember the acid-trippers trying to eat paint off the walls. I actually think it haunted my dreams for a while.
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