Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-February 19, 2008CE

1) In the biggest news to come our way in quite a while, Fidel Castro, the Cuban communist dictator of nearly 50 years, has resigned. This coming last night, Castro will turn control of the government permanently to his brother Raul. Raul has been running the day to day duties of the closest communist country to the United States since his brother has been sick. The United States hopes this will bring about a change to democracy, because Raul has been seen as a much more progressive and pragmatic leader than his fiery brother. I linked to 1500 stories, but honestly didn’t make it through all of them.. Pretty much pick one and it will give you all the information you need.

2) A new pile of documents and artifacts from the JFK assassination in Dallas were unveiled yesterday, sparking discussion of the most contested event in American History. Nothing great came from these texts, at least anything to quiet the crazies, but here was the one amazing thing I found.

Mr. Watkins, the first black district attorney in Texas, said he was releasing the material in part because of the window it provided on the racism of the past. The material “takes us back to 1960 and the climate not only of our criminal justice system, but of our country as it relates to race,” he said. He cited the official letterhead of nearby Hunt County, which claimed “the blackest land and the whitest people.”

Holy Crap!!! I wouldn’t get a suntan and go to Hunt County. That’s absolutely mind-blowing to me. There is no excuse for that kind of thinking—unless we are talking about those goddamn Samoans; they are the scum of the earth.

3) Some large Devil Toad was found in Madagascar. All kinds of crazy shit is found in Madagascar. Although it is just a fossil, a frog that has teeth and could eat baby dinosaurs seems to belong right at home in Hunt County, Texas. I imagine Hunt County to be like a post-apocalyptic world, i.e. Mad Max.

4) The Air Force is run by former fighter pilots. That’s a fucking fact. Even if you flew bombers you are looked down upon by the top brass. So needless to say, when the Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, (A man you might not know because unlike the last one, he isn’t a fire-breathing war hawk mediawhore) says that the Air Force doesn’t need the original complement of the F-22 Stealth Fighter, they get a little antsy. Of course we need to sink billions of dollars into 381 airplanes, they say. Of course that would leave less money for pilotless drones or a viable alternative to the 50 year old B-52 bomber, the workhorse of the bomber fleet, scheduled to be flown well into the new millennium. They get rock hard thinking about new fighters, like they are designing some new video game. DESIGN AN AIR FORCE, NOT ONE FUCKING PLANE YOU DICKTARDS! You are so worried about China? Well, I am sure 381 fighter jets are going to help as the Red Army marches its 1 billion strong through Nebraska.

Wow, that got crazy near the end. It’s like Gen. Curtis LeMay said: "If you kill enough of them, they stop fighting."