¡¡TAX DAY EDITION!!
1) Oh please, can we have more of this. This would be like an Old Prospector making an album of Indian rain chants. They're slightly similar yet totally disconnected and he's just going to fuck it up. Bill Cosby doing a hip hop record would be like Bill Cosby writing a book telling black people what to do. Excuse me? He does that already? Oh, then nevermind.
2) The headline of this article makes it out to be a Saturday morning cartoon. Coming up after the Muppet Babies (and yes, I'm showing my age with the Muppet Babies, but come on, what am I going to say, Pokemon or something.) it's The Polygamist Kids and their lovable dog, Old Patches! Revel in their misadventures as they run around the compound and marry their fathers. Only on ABC Family.
3) If you gave me 75 guesses I wouldn't have guessed that there was a noticable Catholic blogger community. Sports, yes. Entertainment, yes. These are things that people with no lives obsess about. Shouldn't these people be holding bake sales or blood drives or something?
4) Jurassic Park, all over again. By the way, you do know that Jurassic Park was a documentary, but the Illuminati doesn't want you to know the truth, don't you? Sam Neill is actually a paleontologist and the Rothschild's made him become an actor. But I've said too much...
5) Hilary Clinton will appear on the Colbert Report this week while he is in Pennsylvania. Chris Matthews, who apparently never met a secret he didn't want to blurt out on national television, spilled the beans on his appearance last night. Then Colbert did him one better by getting Matthews to all but announce his candidacy for the United States Senate from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. So there, news boy, take that. Or something.
6) Everyone hates a good idea. A balanced ecosystem is exactly what we need right now. Just let the guy do his thing and let's see if it works. On a side note, my dad lives north of town and behind his house is a wildlife preserve of some sort, because I have seen moose and deer out there, and he has seen zebra and a giraffe. I know that sounds made up, but it's not. It's just crazy.
7) And finally, It's Tax Day!! You have till midnight to get your tax returns in the mail, so hop to it. If you had any last minute questions, Slate is here to help. Happy filing.
Well, tha's about it. It's like Keith Olbermann said: "This is the exact definition of my ego. When Fox had my head 40 feet high at Shea Stadium they said to me, "We're going to give out 100,000 temporary tattoos of your face at the Super Bowl." And I just swallowed and said, "No. God. Don't. You're not going to, you can't possibly — what do you mean, temporary?"
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