Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-July 21, 2008CE

1) I think we will move Entertainment up to the top spot today in light of The Dark Knight breaking 9 records (so far). I usually don't like to link to blogs in which I recommend, because I automatically assume that since I recommend them, you read them, but filmdrunk has the records plainly explained for your reading pleasure. The Dark Knight was superneat and I plan on going once more at least. I have no problem giving money to Nolan & Co.

2) Hitting close to home, a B-52 from Barksdale AFB in Bossier City, LA, temporarily assigned to duty in Guam (I always assume Guam is where Gilligan and his castaways landed) has crashed into the Pacific with no signs of survivors. Exact details of the situation are not known, but rest assured Bearsuits will keep you informed. We are pretty much the Military Times in blog format.

3) In sports, did you know that All Pro Jason Taylor and Dolphins president Bill Parcells weren't exactly seeing eye to eye on things? I know, right? So it comes as a huge (?) surprise that Taylor was traded to the Washington Redskins for a bag of rice and hostess ho-hos. Now for another shock. I think you might want to sit down. Golf's greatest choke artist of all time, Greg Norman, who led the British Open after three rounds of play at the age of 53 went ahead and choked the shit out of himself to give Padraig Harrington the Claret Jug. Out with season ending knee surgery, Tiger Woods finished 7th...

4) Let's get some of this crap out of the way. Colleges have too much money hidden away in their slush funds-not news. Facebook is changing minuscule parts of its service-not news. Jimmy Fallon is going to make a mockery of television in general if allowed to appear on it-not news.

5) In more entertainment, The Barenaked Ladies have pulled out of a scheduled performance with Disney because their lead singer decided to do some blow and apparently that's not exactly the Disney image. But of course anti-semitism is. I love it when bands cover songs. Of course the bands I listen to only cover songs they actually like, and rarely do any ironic or mocking covers. But can't we all agree that Avril Lavigne is a fucking joke of a human? Republican or Democrat, Black or White, Indian or Pakistani, can't we just all agree on that??

Well, that's about it. It's like Ed Robertson from the Barenaked Ladies said: "I think we give more bang for your buck than Madonna. She'll probably say 'fuck' once and that's it. Here we've already said 'poop' AND 'pee.' She's probably not even going to do 'Like a Virgin' tonight. But WE'RE going to!"