Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-August 27, 2008CE

1) I watched both the keynote address to the Democrat National Convention given by Fmr. Gov. Mark Warner of Virginia and the headline address by Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York and here are a couple of things I noticed.
a) No matter what you say, I liked the point Hillary made to her idiot diehard supporters who say they will vote for John McCain instead of Obama: "Were you in this just for me?" Did you want to vote for a woman so bad that you didn't care what she stood for, and the fact that Obama stands for almost the exact same thing? Get over yourself and vote for the same ideals you have been voting for your entire life...
b) Mark Warner told a story about pulling himself up by the bootstraps and said he believed in cellular technology when no one else did. Which is a good story about being in the right place at the right time with the right idea. Everyone loves that story. Then I find out his small personal idea company is NEXTEL!!!! Fucking NEXTEL!!!! So folksy Virginian is a megabillionaire, which isn't bad, but you kinda need to throw that NEXTEL thing out at the beginning I think.
Those stories, plus the fact that if you can watch Brian Schweitzer, Gov of Montana, give a speech you should do it. Goofy Democrat rancher becomes one of the most popular governors in the country with a 70% approval rating in Montana, a Red State? Yep, I'll believe it.

2) Boy, I sure hope that New Orleans finishes the Katrina memorial in time for the next category 3 storm to hit next week. Hurricane Gustav is running over Haiti, where it has weakened to a Tropical Storm, but I think we can all remember what a quick romp through the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico can do to a mere Tropical Storm. And Gustav is projected to hit the Gulf Coast, and almost every projection has it coming a little too close for comfort to the Crescent City. We really don't need another one of those, but at least the plans are in place to save lives.

3) In sports, Thursday is the big day for baseball. Major League Baseball will begin implementation of instant replay for home run calls. Now, since the number of objectionable home run calls is thankfully low, yet high this year, I can only hope that this technology won't butt in too hard to the tradition of America's oldest sport. Now, I'm not dumb enough to say America's favorite sport because I love football too, but baseball does remind us that things can be simple and old-fashioned and that's ok, too. Speaking of baseball, Cubs win.
Michael Strahan made the right decision and decided to stay retired. Good job, Strahan, and no matter what your ex-wife may say, you are a classy guy.

4) London 2012: You're screwed.

5) Scary, but not surprising. This kind of thing is always going to happen with politicians, and candidates, but I imagine even more so with the first black candidate to the Presidency. Because white supremacists are not exactly known for their...humanity.

6) It's a Moo-stery!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ha. h. goddammit.

7) Every thing's bigger in Texas! Especially the murderers and the insane criminal defenses. Did she roll on top of him, because you couldn't get around that forensic evidence, what with the flattening of his bones.

Ok so these Brokeback Mountain parodys had their time and that time was 3 years ago. but I just found this one, and I have to say it is damn good. Expertly put together, especially if you know anything about Star Trek. Which I do. Goddammit. I'm going to go sit under that lady from Texas now...