A Special Comment

After spending most of the morning listening to my boss tell me how bad this country is going to be if McCain loses, I've come to one conclusion: I was wrong. Less than 3 hours ago I pulled the lever/pushed the button/checked the box/killed a hobo for Barack Obama. Never mind that I just happen to hold the same basic beliefs as the man; I've made a huge mistake. What if it was my fault, my one vote, that allowed the blockade which encompasses our country to be dismantled, thereby allowing the massive A-rab terrorist navies to spill into our ports. America, from sea to shining sea, will will be run over by the invading horde. Of course, on the other hand our new Muslim overlords will have something to say about the mandatory abortion clinics being built from the hollowed out husks of gun and ammunition stores. I wonder how our new Secretary of State, Bill Ayers, and Secretary of Defense, Jane Fonda, will deal with the transaction that transfers all of our defense budget to the Eiffel Tower Preservation Fund. And will I be prepared when the roving bands of tax collectors come to my door, demanding my account number and password? Shall I give them a false one, incurring the wrath of the IRS death squad which will no doubt be dispatched to my humble abode post haste to quietly dispose of me and take all my worldly possessions (such as my 2003 Corolla, my collection of Hallmark ornaments and my special edition of the Back to the Future trilogy) to fund socialist activities? Well, enough with that special comment, lets go to Oddball...

But seriously, the 2008 election is today! Go vote, for whomever you wish, because lets be honest: Democratic government, Republican government, Neapolitan government (the ice cream, not the Italian city), just not that much is going to change. There still won't be any new jobs for 2 years, there will still be taxes, bigger or smaller (hopefully smaller--for me), there will still be the Ted Stevenses and William Jeffersons of the guv'ment stealing and stealing and feeling no remorse. So just go do what you think is right, and let the chips fall where they may, because hey: it can't get any worse!

Right?

But I do truly hope that this election is a turning point. Not just to help right our standing on the world stage, to engender respect in the world's citizens again, but for the American people. I hope that they will continue to stay involved in causes they believe in, even if it's only reading a newsletter or watching tv. I hope we can continue to grow the numbers of first time voters and bolster the ranks of those who have already voted. Because old people do two things: vote and die. And although Puff Daddy gave them a choice, they consistently choose both, so we need other generations, from baby boomers to generation Y-me (or whatever other insane generational name is next to come down the pike) to get out there and take 5 minutes out of their day 3 or 4 times a year and just keep involved in their own lives.

And I hope that the country wakes up out of it's insane blood lust and realizes that life goes on. Obama isn't going to steal your last cow and McCain isn't going to march down to the National Archives and replace the Constitution with the bible (although the religious right wishes he would, but that's for another rant. One which plays on endless loop in my head every day...)

Riots if Obama isn't elected? Immediate assassination attempts if he is? I'm sure there are tens of assassination attempts contemplated by nut jobs all the time on each and every president. Hell, Gerald Ford was shot at 3 times in a month and he didn't do shit. That's why we have the Secret Service and the FBI. They might not get everyone all the time, but I trust their percentages; they usually know how to do their jobs.

So can we all calm down and just vote our hearts and minds and see what happens.

Seriously, if Obama wins, I can't wait 'till it's my turn to murder babies.

I leave you with Ben Affleck and his pitch perfect satire of Countdown with Keith Olbermann from last Saturday Night Live. SNL has really come back with a vengeance this year thanks to it's political content and hopefully that will remain so. Because bad SNL is bad.