Strap in Kids!!!!!!!

So I woke up this morning-hey, it's not like I had a choice- and seriously, the first thought I had was, "Where is Antonio Banderas and why can't he make another Zorro movie?"

I'd love to be able to say this is just another one of my clever intros where I mention Antonio Banderas but end up writing 4 paragraphs about peach cobbler, but it's not. I truly thought that. And Christ why? Zorro films are entertaining enough, but it's not like that 4 foot tall masked man burned up the pop culture zeitgeist with his swashbuckling adventures in 1998 and 2005. And I think we've satiated our thirst for Banderas himself with those Nasonex commercials, featuring the sultry Spanish heartthrob as "The Cheerios Bee: The Gay Blade"**.

"Seriously, Michael Douglas' dork must look like Abe Vigoda's index finger...", Zorro whispered into the ear of his love.

Now, Tony Danza; that's a vaguely ethnic, dark-haired actor who we need to see more of. Have you ever seen Hollywood Knights, starring Robert Whul, Fran Drescher, Tony Danza, and Michelle Pheiffer? Just a great cult teen comedy, a la American Graffiti, but with more dick jokes and less Ron Howard. And Tony Danza.

Did I mention Tony Danza?

Ok, well my thought process ran dry. I mean, after that mindgasm of America's favorite Italian live-in male housekeeper...where else can we go?

So it's video time. First I bring you one of my all-time favorites. The Opie and Anthony radio show has many great moments due to Anthony's spot on impressions. I implore you to listen to him talk to a fan in line at the Tony Danza Show-as Tony. I'm not going to ruin the ending, but suffice it to say if you are at work, plug in those headphones.



Next up is a nice one from the aforementioned Hollywood Knights. Keep those headphones plugged in. Aren't I a great guy?



**Finally, if you didn't get the starred joke, then you really and truly need to reevaluate your priorities...