Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-November 27, 2007CE

1) BREAKING NEWS!!!- Houston Nutt isn't the coach at Arkansas any longer!!! Seems he just couldn't convince the entire state of Arkansas to not hate him, even after knocking off the number one ranked LSU Tigers last Friday. The news of his resignation comes as a surprise only to those who were born between August 14, 2007 and November 26, 2007. Everyone else possesses the skills to know Nutt was a goner.

UPDATE: Nutt has already signed on to coach the Hogs' SEC rivals, University of Mississippi Rebels. This would be a coup if anyone cared.

2) I can understand this. When I won Best Male Porn Star at the AVN's last year I felt so much better knowing that Henry Kissinger didn't win...again.

3) Crazy old people get conned everyday out of their money and it doesn't matter if you are poor or rich. It is so fucking easy to steal old people's money with their permission, I'm surprised there isn't a cottage industry built around it. Special shirts and hats for those who go to college to better learn how to fleece the elderly.

Well, that's about it. I don't have time for a quote, as this is going up late anyway. Fucking work.