1) Can't we please bow our heads to the most famous of all the famous mimicking monkeys. Congo doesn't count. I would like to point out to the good folks of Washington state: This is your tax dollars at work here. People are teaching monkeys to use sign language...most likely so they can receive a high paying job in computer sciences or the culinary arts.
2) The nuttiest fruitbar in the land is beloved by lefty wackos and righty wackos, sometimes for the same reason. Yes, it's Ron Paul, everyone's favorite libertarian who wants to put us back on the gold standard. Wait, the gold standard? Are you kidding? I should start fixing my carriage and installing gas lights if we are going to be traveling back in time.
3) J.K. Rowling is at it again. Fucking her loyal readers by writing a new book and not giving it to anyone. Seven copies will be printed, with one going to auction. Remember kids, that's J.K. Rowling: the woman who made your most cherished literary characters gay and necrophiliac and retarded and Samoan. ATTACK!!!!
4) I am in the wrong fucking business. If someone had told me that I could spend my life thinking about how to put crappers in the third world, I would have jumped at that chance. step 1: get toilets. step 2: get child labor to dig sewers. step 3: move your bowels. Problem solved; I'll take payment in $50s
Well, picks are forthcoming for the college slate, but until then, it's just like Woody Allen lamented: "As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree'--probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on."
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment