1) Former President George Herbert Walker Bush celebrated the reopening of his library by jumping out of an airplane, something sane 30 year olds don't do. The curator of the museum was overheard stating that at 83, at least the former president wasn't driving into pedestrians at the local farmer's market.
2) An illegal immigrant boy all of 13 was kidnapped by his middle school teacher and driven to Mexico so they could have sex and whatnot. Usually I would be handing out high fives to this kid all day long, but this time I feel sorry for him. Check out this teacher. It's bad enough he has to live illegally---IN NEBRASKA---but then he doesn't even get to pork one of the hot teachers that have sex with their students. This kid needs to illegally live in Florida; that's where the really good looking sexual predators live.
3) Official Ugliest Man in the Universe, John Clayton, tells us how the Indianapolis Colts brought 22 beds to Qualcomm on their road trip to San Diego and spent most of the time emptying their bowels into them. Manning did little to help my fantasy opponent, but I am still relying on the Seahawks defense to not show up tonight to get me a win. Actually, that's a distinct possibility.
Well, thats about it. It's like Samuel Johnson said: "Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not day that it makes him more pleasing to others."
Monday, November 12, 2007
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