Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-November 28, 2007CE

1) Admittedly, the Internet is a fucked up place. Of course, that was before I knew that 47 year old housewives get on myspace and create fake profiles to torture children. Why is it that I find this extremely disturbing, but can throw around abortion jokes and intentionally try to gross people out with increasingly inane descriptions of impossible sexual acts? Because I'm not telling jokes to children, people. There is a broad line between searching for pictures of taints to put as people's desktop backgrounds (the funniest, and least original, thing I have done in a month) and beating a child over the head with an emotional club until they do something drastic and horrifying. In other words, I'm a great guy.

2) When I saw this headline, I knew what the article was going to say before I read it. But then I got the shock of my life. This happened in Virginia, not Arkansas or Kentucky. I was blown away.

3) Wasn't this an episode of Boston Legal at some point. I haven't seen the show in years, but it seems oddly reminiscent of the show's "realistic story lines".

Well, that's about it. Because I missed yesterday, you get two quotes today. It's like Harlan Ellison said: When they say, 'Gee, it's an information explosion!'—no, it's not an explosion, it's a disgorgement of the bowels is what it is. Every idiotic thing that anybody could possibly write or say or think can get into the body politic now—where before things would have to have some merit to go through the publishing routine, now, anything. And all you're getting is an explosion of useless crap, which added to the other useless crap that was being done originally, only makes it that much worse."

It's also like anonymous said: "What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."