Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-December 6, 2007CE

SPECIAL DREAM EDITION!!

So I am in a wedding this weekend, and two nights ago I dreamed that I forgot to put on my tux and ended up missing the wedding as I was changing. Plus the wedding was at my grandmother's house, which it isn't. It was odd. Then last night, I dreamed that I was walking out to a bonfire or dumpster or something (I think it kept changing) and wasn't paying attention, but then I realized I was in the middle of a Bush family vacation or something. Then there were houses and one of them was mine, and one was Barbara's (the other twin) and I just sat there becoming friends with George W. and Laura, and then Barbara's (the other twin) boyfriend who looked like the guy in Superbad who's girlfriend danced with Seth and left a "stain" on his pants came over to my house and we got drunk. This is to illustrate a point: if you ever-ever-find a doorway into my mind, do not enter it under any circumstances whatsoever. This is for your protection.

1) This story is interesting in of itself, but I link to it in three places to make a point. This is amazing these days because it is not just a wire service story reprinted in each successive news outlet. Someone had to sit down and think about how he or she wanted to tell this story, knowing that so many others were doing the same thing. This guy and his wife are going to get into a lot of trouble. I doubt they ever thought their fraud would be a massive human interest story. "Hope breeds sorrow." That's mine, you can use it.

2) All we really care about is what Jim Gaffigan thinks. I think I am speaking for the population of the United States of America when I say that.

3) Andruw Jones, longtime Boston Brave, will be going to the Brooklyn Dodgers. This is a change in the landscape for Atlanta's outfield, as Jones has been playing for them since he was 13. Let's all wish Andruw, and his pretentious-naming parents the best of luck in sunny Los Angeles.

4) If this is a surprise, then kill yourself.

I will be in Baton Rouge this weekend, so do your own searching for AMEO's. I'll post an open thread and you can put up the links you find. Well, that's about it. It's like Timothy Leary said: "I declare that The Beatles are mutants. Prototypes of evolutionary agents sent by God, endowed with a mysterious power to create a new human species, a young race of laughing freemen."