**I was just looking for my backpack!**

I think I know where I am sitting

Watching the movie Superbad last night got me thinking about something. Well, it actually got me thinking about a lot of things, but more specifically, the scene where Evan, played by the ridiculously awesome Michael Cera, gets busted by the girl he likes for staring at her breasts during class.

Upon seeing that I was immediately transported to a time and place in my life, and every other guy’s life, where I stared at girls, girl’s racks, and girl’s legs in class. That time would be right f-ing now because I do it in class all the time, on the street, and anywhere else I am and I love every last second of it.

But seriously, the opportunity and excitement of this class time ritual was never better than whilst in high school. The excitement and atmosphere is totally different in college and I believe I have pin pointed a few reasons why staring at a high school girl while I was in high school was so much more exciting. Staring at high school girls at this age while in class would raise a lot of eyebrows and perhaps a few warrants for my arrest and possible search of my house. Besides, it is almost impossible to get onto a high school campus and sneak into a classroom, find a suitable seat, and not get busted.

One thing, in college it can be hard because your seat can change, you pick your own seats, and you never know who is going to be in there. But high school, well it’s the golden time. You get assigned seating and you can recon the layout for a while before any heavy maneuvers. You would not want to rush into anything, which would be foolish and will get you killed out there. Who hasn’t had to pretend to be looking for a pencil on the floor ¾ behind the direction you face when you feel their eyes lock onto your eyes which are locked onto some wonderful feature of their anatomy? Well, that my friends, is the result of poor planning and an extremely understandable over zealousness when it comes to admiring the fairer sex. I bet I got caught more often than not and even when I did not get “caught” something tells me that girls knew I was doing it. Some weird Zen/women know everything shit that we cannot explain. Also, they liked it. I firmly believe that.

Another critical element is that for the most part you know the girls. You know who they are, what they tend to wear, and when, where they sit and other things that seem creepy when I type it out. It’s like how every guy knows that the winter time is our slowest part of the year, but the off chance that one of the ladies will be wearing a tight sweater and decided she needed to stretch out her back after a grueling fifteen minutes of pretending to take notes makes it all worth while. Now that was and is some of the sexiest shit ever. Whatever time of the year though, high school girls dressed it up and that is the main difference. In college, girls will wear anything that keeps the smell of booze and Rodney “The Dancing Dynamo” Kirkstein out of their and the rest of the classes noses.

After this, you will see all you want without having to bother with class.

But I guess the biggest difference is time, which is why the first two elements are so important and different than in college. In high school you have four years with almost every single one of those women and chances are high you are going to get at least into three classes throughout your tenure with them. If you did it right, by senior year you could check out your female classmates in your sleep. But I would never do that because I sleep with my eyes closed and thus could not see anything.

Let the record show that while checking girls out anytime is just something that no guy would ever do without, but doing it while in your high school classes was something that we will forever cherish in our hearts. Through my deep analysis and thought I have figured out three crucial reasons why it was more exciting in high school than later stages of your later, particularly college. I know that young men all over the world are doing past generations proud and creepily leering at their “out of their league” female classmates. The upside, those girls that everyone considered out of your league will eventually be out of your league in college too, but the rules are different in college. Those girls will get pregnant and perhaps married to the night watchman at Brink’s Armored Car Services.

Good Night friends and Good Night America!