Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-February 14, 2008CE

1) NEWSFLASH: Attractive people are attractive, and that’s not all. We as human beings tend to look at attractive people. And it doesn’t really matter what gender they are. I reference you to this article as to why that is. It’s because members of the same sex are rivals and you must size them up to decide the best way to dispose of them.

Secondly, on this Go Fuck Yourself Day, a study was done on flirting, and how everyone male, female, single, married, gay, straight, white, black...human flirts. Even if we don’t know we are doing it. Evolution and unconscious animal behaviors scare the shit out of me. You are raised to think you are better than animals but we just figured out speech and bought thumbs on evolutionary eBay. The elephant is larger; the horse is swifter and stronger. The butterfly is far more beautiful; the mosquito is more prolific-even the simple sponge is more durable. So grab your loved one’s paw today and grunt how much you love them…..

2) Here’s another surprise: Australia, land of the murdering rapist who murders other rapists (prison colony, rapists and murderers are criminals—get it?), for a good 60 years took aborigines from their parents, and then just forgot about them apparently. Apparently Americans are not the only ones who treated the natives of their land horribly. At least we got most of our killing and relocations done before 1900; the rest of the time has just been stomping their souls.

3) Looks like we are one step closer to curing the common cold, which is nice, because I have had one for the last, oh let’s say, 25 years. I just hope this doesn’t mean I won’t need Nyquil. That delicious elixir is my valentine.

4) Here is an extensive story on the best wine in the world. I got through page one, and although it is very interesting, I’m just not pretentious or snooty enough to give a shit after the first page.

Well, that's about it. It's like Clark Gable said: "Hell, if I'd jumped on all the dames I'm supposed to have jumped on, I'd have had no time to go fishing."