Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-February 15, 2008CE

1) News coming from the world of Guitarhero. Aerosmith is coming out with their own Guitarhero game in June. This isn’t some half baked craptastic way to make some extra money off of the already hugely successful franchise. Aerosmith played these songs in motion capture suits so the movements mimic the band. The game follows their 30+ year career, so you are learning at the same time!!!1! I actually in all honesty think the story of Joe Perry walking through his house, seeing his son playing Guitarhero, playing the game himself and finally, being disappointed that there were no Aerosmith songs. In the age when Metallica ruined a good thing, it is refreshing to see a band move boldly into new mediums. Plus they will get a shitton of money

2) In news which surprises no one, at one time Mao ZeDong, chairman of the communist party in China once tried to give the United States 10 million women during a trade negotiation. Where the hell would we put 10 million women? I am sure there are some empty grain elevators out in Ohio, but who knows. Also, there is no guarantee that Kissinger didn’t take those 10 million women under the table and repopulate his depleted harem.

3) Longtime Miami Dolphin Zach Thomas has been let go by the rebuilding Parcells after a glorious career. He expects to play again next season, but as he is plagued by Aikman disease, defined by having your head rattle like seeds in a dried gourd, I don’t see why a good team would sign him. Oh well, at least your sister bangs Jason Taylor on a regular basis. That’s got to count for something?

4) And finally: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, that’s about it. It’s like Chris Berman said: “You’re with me, Leather.”