Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-February 6, 2008CE

1) When you need expert political coverage you naturally turn to Bearsuits Are Funny. So here we go with a quick recap of Super Tuesday. Obama and Clinton on the Democrat side accomplished next to nothing by tying even more in the delgate count, even though Obama won more states. Republican wise, McCain pulled ahead to frontrunner status, and Huckabee surrised everyone by booking his hotel room in Minneapolis, MN. This is an interesting election, with the Democrats deadlocked, and the Republicans battling a three way race this late in the game. And remember, those of you in Louisiana need to vote this Saturday, unless you are an independant, then sleep in and give a shit less for a couple more months.

2) The rumored trade of Shaq from Miami to Phoenix is confusing. This makes sense for the Heat to get rid of the aging lumbering giant taking up room on the court, because the Heat could improve by adding a popcorn machine they are so bad. But why would the Suns want Grandpa Shaq? They are perennial contenders, and with New Orleans showing up this year have an added hurdle, but whatever. They don't pay me to know anything, so I usually don't.

3) Grey's Anatomy star Eric Dane had skin cancer, starting a trend I hope catches on with those cast members. Ellen Pompeo can get stomach cancer and I'm ok with that; she could stand to lose a few pounds. The whineyass guy who plays George can get emo-gland cancer, maybe he could stop crying then. Katherine Heigl could get dick cancer. Then we could make way for a new show, hopefully one about a retired cop who gains the power of flight and uses it to fight crime. Starring Ed Asner, it's ABC's new hit Incontinental Airlines, PD.

Well, that's about it. It's like Margaret Thatcher once said: "It will be years — not in my time — before a woman will become Prime Minister."