Friday, February 8, 2008

Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-February 8, 2008CE

1) The police have decided to become more annoying by installing a new siren which emits a low frequency sound wave which shakes your car and house and liver and anything else nearby. Come on man, quit harshing my buzz and go catch the real criminals, man.

2) Amy Winehouse, the United Kingdom's answer to Britney Spears, except with a modicum of talent, has been denied entry to the United States for the Grammy Awards, where she is nominated several times. Seems officials in London decided that letting another crack crazed druggy street urchin with crazy hair and a criminal husband into a country which already has more of those than the population of Paraguay isn't such a good idea. Sorry Amy, see you on A&E's Intervention.

3) So the Mexican Robin Hood is most closely associated with illegal immigration and drug smuggling? As a moderate liberal it hurts me to say this, but what's so bad about that fence again? When you have a culture who prays to a man who lived nearly a century ago so they can deal their drugs safely...I mean...wow... Maybe its because I wasn't fortunate enough to grow up in a drug cartel household and I just don't have the experiences that it takes to sympathize with those who do smuggle drugs.

4) Mr. Tony Kornheiser will not be pleased after he spouted off all week about Steve Spagnuolo becoming the head coach of the Washington Redskins, which of course he did not. Now Washington continues its interminable coaching search. It's all up for grabs, send in your resume.

Well that's about it. It's like Judge James P. Gray of California said: "Since you [US "drug tsar" McCaffrey] control a federal budget that has just been increased from $17.8 billion last year to $19.2 billion this year, is asking people like you if we should continue with our nation's current drug policy like a person asking a barber if one needs a haircut?"

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