Overtly Political And Disgusting

Presidential Candidate Willard Romney dropped out of the race yesterday in what people are calling the most conservative thing he has done all campaign. This leaves it wide open for Arizona Senator John McCain to grab the nomination. A nomination he probably deserved 8 years ago if it hadn't been for the antichrist Karl Rove sucking the marrow from babies bones and sacrificing virgins with a bat, snake, and lion's mane.

Thumbs up for Scientology, um, I mean Mormons

Oh yes, and Gov. Mike Huckabee (R-AR) is still "in" the race. He appeared on the Colbert Report last night to play air hockey with Texas. Although I am a fan of candidates who can get down to the people's level and joke around, and although I love it when the representation of Texas can be hit with a plastic mallet, I still think he is crazy. Maybe I'm not thinking clearly but it seems to me that a theocracy is not exactly what we need in this time where we are trying to stop religious extremists elsewhere in the world. A snake handler in the White House is not what we need right now. I can even get behind John McCain. He won't cowtow down to the party, he has his own views on issues which he refuses to go back on, and he is known for being able to work across the aisle with democrats. All qualities I enjoy in a politician. Too bad they are few and far between. Again I go back to Karl Rove, who did his damndest to purge the party of those who could think.

STORY TIME!!! Advice columnist Dan Savage has a column and podcast entitled Savage Love. I highly recommend it if you enjoy hearing about how crazy human sexuality actually is. So Dan is a happily married, father of one who just so happens to be gayer than a Judy Garland convention. He's not a fan of conservative republicans as you might guess, what with evangelical chrisitans and conservatives actively trying to wipe him off the face of the earth. His advice is praised by folks of all types, gay, straight, necrophiliac. Most issues we deal with as people are universal.

Well, there used to be a senator from the great state of Pennsylvania named Rick Santorum. Rick was the poster boy for saying the craziest shit about how we should be living. Imagine the uber-Huckabee, and go from there. Dan, and others, felt that he was a real threat to the American way of leave me the hell alone. So he held a contest: readers were asked to submit their suggestions for the definition of santorum. And boy was it a doozy. The finalist, which has entered the zeitgeist somewhat, is that santorum means the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter which is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.

Well, recently he held another contest to come up with the definition of huckabee. And the results are in!!! huckabee means when you throw up a little while giving a blow job. I have never huckabeed, thankfully, not that I have never thrown up while giving a blowjob, but that I have never given a blowjob in which to throw up during.

Admittingly, not a huckabee, but still disgusting

So there you go, McCain is the presumptive nominee for the Republican party for President of the United States and a good man to boot, while Mike Huckabee is now synonymous with blow jobs and vomit. I love politics.