As promised:
1) Stealing art these days can’t be all that profitable. I mean it’s not like the good old days when you could just take over a country, start World War Two, commit mass genocide of an entire race and steal all their worldly possessions, including billions of dollars worth of fine art. My grandfather came back from World War Two with an amazing painting he bought, legally though. It’s from Monet and it’s titled “This Painting Should Always Be Owned by a Jew, No Matter What.” We think it was just a suggestion.
2) A Florida lawyer is in jail for assaulting an assistant US attorney by shaking her hand too hard. This is just ludicrous. They obviously should have settled their differences the way prescribed by law: jello wrestling. Although that is messy for participants and spectators. I was covered with jello just from sitting next to the “ring”. I mean, my friend went to jello wrestling.
3) Sounds like dinner time at the Jennifer Lopez house once she pops those twins out, huh? Am I right? She’s a tough skinned bitch, who reminds me of a snake. Huh? And what’s the deal with airline food?
4) For all of you still using the Nokia 6110 you are most likely still using a Polaroid camera. Well again, you are shit out of luck, because they are going to stop making the film. Try graduating to the next century. The bridge has been built, and Newt Gingrich isn’t Speaker of the House any longer. Neither is Friends on the air and that flannel shirt tied around your waist isn’t as hip as you think it is.
Monday, February 11, 2008
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