Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-March 19, 2008CE

A long couple of days, guys. Monday was my birthday, and it also being St. Patrick's Day, I drank for 12 hours. Many of you were in attendance. Yesterday was recovery day, with cleaning and such. Both days were sans AMEO, and I don't feel bad at all. Let's get into it for today.

1) I think the Headline Wars winner for today is For Teeth and for Country from Slate. I have begun watching this miniseries on John Adams, and although am only one episode in, I find it to be a great watch. I recommend it to any and all who partake in HBO, HBO2, HBOW, HBO Family, HBO Latino, and any other HBO I might have left off.

2) In another example of why Africa is either the coolest place ever, or the most scary backwards hellhole where craziness reigns supreme, a man won the annual Argungu fishing festival in Nigeria by catching a fish weighing roughly 145 lbs. Oh, and he caught it with his bare hands. So there is that. I would like to remind you the only thing I am good for is drinking and making people uncomfortable with jokes not fit for the Internet. This guy catches prehistoric sea monsters with his hands. Wow.

3) Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and that's stupid because it's just highlighting differences that don't matter. Its the dating worlds version of "white people talk like this and black people talk like this". Turns out the actual planets Mars and Venus are also not as dissimilar as previously thought. Gives you something to think about. Not really though.

4) People are idiots to think that a Hummer would be less energy expending than a Prius. Period. Done.

Well, that's about it. It's like Jack Plotnick as Evie said in Girls Will Be Girls: "June Allyson! You know, they offered me that Depends commercial. Lot of money, too. Just one little problem... I don't shit my pants!"