Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-March 4, 2008CE

1) The Headline Wars are cool on the front lines today with only a couple of contenders, and even those are weak. Runner up, World's first six-legged octopus discovered, is weak, and not just because it doesn't have all the strength a normal octopus does. ahahahahaahahaahashit. Winner comes from the BBC today, a newcomer in Headline Wars. Man, 101, to run London Marathon. Now if that doesn't get you intrigued, then nothing well, sir. This guy works as a plumber and run marathons and he's 101 years old. Needless to say, my status as a male is in serious question.

2) Rrrrriiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhtttttttttttt........... This makes me want to read Christopher Hitchens.

3) So this endangered species of frog has been found mating in captivity--hooray. that's all well and good, but just you wait till you get a load of the awesome pun contained therein:

"It's wonderful timing for 2008 — International Year of the Frog and a Leap
Year"

Leap Year??!? That's fantastic. Scientists always give the best puns because they have no fucking clue how to speak. It's great.

4) The Pats ponied up the money they would have been stupid not to spend to keep WR Randy Moss for another three years. 27 million dollars to be quite possibly the best at what you do can't be a bad thing. You might remember Moss as the uncontent neerdowell at Minnesota and Oakland before coming to New England, drinking The Belichick Kool Aid and helping the Pats to the first regular undefeated season since the 72 Dolphins. I'd say this was a good get for Bob Kraft.

Well, that's about it. It's like Al Franken said: "Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from."