I only wish my job allowed me to sit in front of a computer and do nothing for most of the eight hours of the day I am at work, not including my lunch break. But then again, if I had Russell's job I would want to cut my throat because I am not really the sitting in a small, cramped office type.
Russell and I were discussing having his Eye Openers in the morning and something from me each afternoon, perhaps permanently titled Afternoon Boner Jamz. Anyway, you guys did not come here to read about the inner-workings of the Internets best, biggest, and most badass website. You came for some news items.
1. George Carlin died yesterday at the age of 71. I believe Carlin's death will be a tragic blow to comedy. I hope that all aspiring stand-up comics look to Mr. Carlin's entire body of work; be it stage or screen, as a guide to how to work out their careers. I mean, who can forget the time Carlin played Rufus from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Personally, I would have given up acting and comedy after hitting the jackpot with that piece of cinematic history. Of course, he is probably best known for his bit on the seven words you cannot say over broadcast television. Here is a bit he did about death. Its funny and appropriate.
2. Congress has done what it does best when it comes to solving problems of a national and global concern: they had a meeting with a bunch of "experts" who told them the exact same thing they told them last month. This time its another NASA scientist telling our congress people about global warming and that we are BEYOND the dangerous point. Well maybe we can combine these meetings with the ones where everyone just gets together and discusses our rising oil costs while not actually doing anything about either. Its wonderful to see our government in action; and by action I mean sitting in meetings all day listening to people tell them the same things over and over again with the obligatory graham cracker and apple juice break followed up by story time and a nap.
3. This just in: Barack Obama is not going to be a good president because of Elian Gonzalez. Go ahead and click that link and see just how insane some people can be. Do you remember the Elian Gonzalez "saga," as it is so aptly named in the article? I sure as shit do and I also remember that it was only a big deal to 0.002% of the country except for that we had to hear about it every damn second of the day. I am no Obama sympathizer but I have to raise an eyebrow, or both, when I see this and wonder how in the hell people would make a decision to vote for someone based on something that happened 8 years ago with no direct Obama intervention or anything else for that matter. Of course like any sensible American, I am not voting for Obama because of his neighbor's best friend's grandfather's involvment in the Teapot Dome Scandal of 1921.
4. I was not aware of this but apparently the WWE has a draft now. I can now rest easy knowing that the official sport of America will be pulling in all the best fake wrestling talent from the nation's top fake wrestling schools. It was hard to see so many juiced-up young men leave school only to not find work in the profession they have built their lives around. Finding a job after graduating can be a daunting task but the fine folks at WWE have made sure that generations of steroid abusing behemoths will be able to land the job of their dreams. Hopefully you are not still shaking your head and thinking about how our nation's biggest domestic concerns are not being taken care of.
5. Good news, Amy Winehouse does not have full blown emphysema. Breath a sigh of relief nation, Britain's answer to slutty, druged-up pop icons will be around a little longer to spread her gift of song and, I am sure, genital warts. George Carlin dies but we cannot get rid of this waste of carbon. Life is just so not fair.
6. Apparently, sex offenders in Georgia are not aware that no one gives a shit what a pedophile thinks or feels because they oppose a ban against them volunteering at churches. They also claim that Georgia's sex offender statutes, inacted in 2006, are too harsh and restrictive. Here's a thought, if you didn't go around sticking your dick, finger, or whatever else, in and around children then you would need no restrictions.
Society has seen what your perverted ass will do when it is allowed to have the freedoms normal Americans enjoy. Why would anyone listen to someone who touches children complain about anything? I think it would be best if we rounded up all of these guys and just dropped them into the ocean from a helicopter. On the open seas they would have all the freedoms they could handle, why they could go anywhere in the world even.
Piss off pedophiles. No one cares what you think because you have a problem and it is a terrible, disgusting desire to touch kids. I think they should shut up and be happy that the State of Georgia did not decide to put a restriction on the longevity of their lives by murdering them immediately. It is what I will do once I am king of the U.S.
*Enjoy your afternoon BAF fans. Look for more exciting and relevant updates about current events or whatever else comes to mind in the days ahead.*
Posts
thank you for coming back.
ReplyDelete