Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-July 29, 2008CE

1) Because I care about you, the reader, or hopefully the listener, of Bearsuits Are Funny, I bring you this warning about iPod headphones and how loud you are listening to your music. I know you are cranking that sucker up to max when the High School Musical comes up on shuffle and you dance on your bed singing into your hairbrush in your tiny white cotton panties...wait, I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

2) It's time for the at-least-monthly New York Times article concerning Louisiana and this time it hits a little closer to home. This week the yuppie assholes in Manhattan are privy to our dealings with the Haynesville Shale, the largest natural gas deposit in the continental U.S. Two things: 1) Shreveport does not have a "semiabandoned downtown" (at most it's swiftly recovering from near-abandonment) nor does it exhibit a "tomblike quiet after 5pm". Not many dead people are getting into barfights every night. 2) and I don't mean to get all Confederate on you here, but we don't particularly need any more carpetbaggers than we already have down here. This will just convince people they can move here and make a killing, which is exactly what everyone around here is thinking, it's just that we already live here. Greed is fine for the locals, son, but you might just want to keep on moving down the road.

3) In sports, the Cubs came back in the ninth to give C.C Sabathia his first bad night in Milwaukee, with a 6-4 win at Miller Park. That leaves 3 more games in this series between the top 2 teams in the National League. I watched most of this game on MLB.tv and when my battery ran out I felt no worries with just shutting her on down because the Brewers were obviously going to win this one. Which shows you that I am always wrong, usually to awful consequences.

4) In science, get out your google machines because Friday is a total solar eclipse and the computer box is just about the only way you or I will get to see it. Don't look directly into your web browser. Fashion a kleenex box with a pinhole in the middle for which to look at your monitor. Staying on this topic, there are all kinds of shit in this solar system besides the 8 (9 when I was learning) planets. All kinds of dwarf planets and plutoids and shit are orbiting the sun. And that's not even including Rosie O'Donnell. KA-POW!!!! Finally, this is weird. And slightly disturbing.

5) In entertainment, if you don't know what the hell is going on in an action movie these days, then good. That's just how the filmmakers want you to be.

Well, that's about it. It's like John Wayne said: "I don’t feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."