Post Meridiem Eye Openers-August 8, 2008CE

1) It's well documented that I am no fan of organized religion, but let's be honest: the only people the Greek Orthodox have persecuted are nobody. And stealing body parts is pretty darn creepy. So when a person stole a religious artifact which happened to be a bone fragment from St. Andrew, I just can't cotton to all that. Because evangelical Christians might be trying to turn this democracy into a theocracy, and the radical Muslims might actually be trying to blow up this democracy, but the Greek Orthodox are just hanging out minding their own business. And everyone should have the right to mind their own business in peace.

2) Pirating is making a comeback, and just like the Marines on the shores of Tripoli, the United States Navy is butting their noses into a time honored tradition. All these pirates are trying to do is earn a living by stealing and murdering. Come on, Uncle Sam, get a life!

3) In sports, the Olympics are upon us, what with the opening ceremonies already occurring at Al Gore's summer home, Beijing. (Get it: pollution? GET IT?!?) This is the first Olympic games in which the sitting American president will attend on foreign soil, so really what we are looking at here is the Apocalypse. But, like many of my readers, you plan to attend the games, Slate tells you how to get around in Beijing, but for some reason doesn't tell you how to get around in their massive political prisons. And since I know my readership, here are some nice pictures about the Olympics.
And Chad Pennington goes from horrible starter on a horrible team to jobless never-was in one fell swoop. I honestly don't care, go cry to Jeff George.

4) Bulgarian Archeology Fever: Catch It !!®

Well, that's about it. It's like I told that girl from across the street a month after having unprotected sex: "Well, better late than never."