1) John Sidney McCain III laid out his personal plea to the American people to elect him and his party to the White House, on the shocking platform of we wear white hats and our opponents wear black hats. It's really no more simple than that. And I suppose it's no more simple when you look at it from the other side of the aisle, except the hats are magenta and mauve. Get it, because most flamboyant homosexuals are liberals also?? GET IT??!!??On a personal note, I think we have our new Chelsey Clinton, McCain's youngest daughter, Bridget McCain. OUCH! Hey, Bridget, this lady called. She wants her arms back! BAM! Bringing the funny on this Friday morning!
Sarah Palin is just so goddamn new to America, it's all anyone wants to talk about, which is a good thing because all we know about her is that she actually eats moose on a regular basis and her fratty husband rides snowmobiles (He'd have my vote for emperor if he ran by himself on a platform of Sno-cones for everyone!), so here are a couple of clarifications on her history and record. Some hurt the line, some help, and that's really all you can ask from anyone...especially Slate.
Everyone lies. Everyone finds the numbers that support their best argument. Everyone fudges on the facts a little to make the prose flow better up in front of the mic. Again with the lists, here are a couple of fact checks from both Sen. Obama's and Sen. McCain's speech.
Finally in politics, Obama sat down with Bill O'Reilly for an interview where, surprisingly, there was no tub of hot oil perched precariously above Obama's head.
2) In governing (like what I did there, separate politics and governing...), Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice will become the first high ranking diplomat to visit Lybia in over 50 years. Rice told the AP that he hopes to prove himself to his coach, his teammates and his country by brokering a long and lasting peace between former bitter adversaries. Rice says he has experience with the Packers/Vikings rivalry on Madden '09 (IN STORES NOW!!) which should give him a foothold with Lybian dictator Moammar Gadhafi regarding oil tariffs.
3) In sports, College Football never got the memo we sent out regarding us being exhausted from last years upset heavy, crazy season, and they just continue on their path to implosion. In the latest Top-25 upset, Vanderbilt, long the doormat of the SEC, beat 24th ranked South Carolina, who in their own right have never exactly run roughshod over the Southeastern Conference. And warning: that ESPN video is going to play whether you want it or not.
In sad sad sad news, we wish Dante Culpepper luck on his new career of bag boy, or carnival worker or whatever else he is qualified for. What he's not qualified for any longer: throwing an oblong ball towards very fast men.
4) So, now that that is over, what are you doing for New Years Eve?
5) Soon, you might have to choose which websites you frequent most often, due to new bandwidth policies being implemented by the Internet Service Providers. Before that happens, I appreciate your use of this site, but of course, I understand...
6) NIGHT OF THE LEPUS!!!!!!
Well, that's about it. Ladies, are you ready to be First Lady of the United States of America? Well get your application in fast!
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