Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-September 8, 2008CE

1) So John McCain wants to broaden the traditional one cabinet post for the opposing party, and you can't hit him for that. But I'm pretty sure that means the traditional useless Transportation Secretary post, plus his best friend Joe Lieberman at Sec. of State or something equally lofty. It's not going to make a difference. It never does.
Something for both of the Vice-Presidential candidates today with Gov. Sarah Palin grabbing a possible talking point on Sen. Joe Biden, as he revealed the open secret that his faith helped him decide that life begins at conception, which is not exactly in line with his party's plank on abortion. And Sen. Biden gets possible ammunition with Gov. Palin's record on abortion showing her bark is worse than her bite regarding pro-life issues, along with her stated views on women's issues and programs designed to help women. This topic, along with many others will be debated in St. Louis in less than a month.
If'n you ever wondered about the rules regarding songs at arenas or stadiums, then here is the article for YOU!!!

2) As a proud member of the Colbert Nation, the knowledge that someday aliens can clone America's Favorite Newsman lets me fear for the human race much, much less than I was. Which was hovering around a 7. Out of 1400.

3) In sports, Serena Williams won the U.S. Open. Or was it Venus Williams winning America's Top Model? I've seen equal amounts of both and care just as much.
Eastern Carolina is real, but what surprised me is that they have been ranked previously.
If you don't like Boston, their fans, their geographical area, and especially their smug sports teams, then this news will make you crap your pants with glee. Tom Brady may miss the entire season.
I spent my Sunday night watching the new Brian Regan stand-up special, The Epitome of Hyperbole, and therefore missed most of this game, but I support the Chicago Bears, and most Chicago teams (see above note). So good on the Bears routing the Indianapolis Colts.
Brett Favre still belongs in an NFL uniform, even if he douched up his resume by doing it. Favre fade-bombed 2 touchdowns contributing to a Jets win over the ever hapless Miami Dolphins.

4) Hurricane Ike is a butthole. Give some people some time to deal with the last one of things, you butthole. The previous tracking had Ike buttholing his was back into Baton Rouge, but thankfully he turned towards Texas. Well, I say thankfully that it's not hitting BR, not that it's hitting Texas (Also buttholes)

5) In entertainment, proof that their most certainly is no god in the heavens, as The Motherfucking New Kids on the Motherfucking Block (MNKOTMB) are back to annoy the shit out of males everywhere. Congrats to those who couldn't be Mark Walberg, keep on chugging...
I think I will check out this new vampire show on HBO, if only because apparently vampires are the new hip thing to watch, and I think we all know my penchant for being hip and cool.

6) Goofy shit ain't just in the south, as the south of the north, New Jersey, has their own version of bigfoot.

Well, that's about it. If you have the time watch the entire The Epitome of Hyperbole from Brian Regan for as long as it's available.