Ante Meridiem Eye Openers-October 20, 2008CE

Bearsuits Are Funny went by this weekend without mentioning a milestone. October 18 is the birthday of this fine institution and all weekend went by with nary a comment from your intrepid reporter. I apologize, and will attempt to make it up to you. I wonder how.....

1) In a move which didn't surprise me, but may have surprised emperor penguins in Antarctica, former Secretary of State, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, decorated Vietnam veteran and all around badass Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama, moving across party lines. Speaking of Powell, I gave in last night, gave Oliver Stone more money t make ham-fisted, unnuanced, narratives about historical events and saw W. last night and Jeffery Wright should win some kind of award (Noble Prize, Peabody, Booker Prize for Children's Literature, something.) for his portrayal of Colin Powell.
Apropos of nothing, college football and voting have so much in common...no really. They do.

2) I wonder if this lady was the inspiration for the retarded old woman who threw the billion dollars off the boat at the end of Titanic. I wonder if she can't pay her nursing home fees because, like her equally lame-brained doppelganger, her family was too stupid to notice that grandma was carrying around a huge fucking diamond in her threadbare overcoat. You gotta go get that power of attorney early, before the elderly can throw away your inheritance on boat trips and hip replacements.

3) The best story in baseball this year, maybe in this decade, the Tampa Bay Rays, will represent the much hated American League in this year's fall classic. They face a Phillies team who shut down the Dodgers in 5 games. I will probably root for them just because they are underdogs and perennial losers and all that jazz, but they are still the American League team. This love affair lasts for 7 games only.
Texas stands tall and proud atop the BSC standings this week, far and away above the second place Crimson Tide from Alabama. LSU is at 13th, but I'm sure if anyone can have luck and Chinese dark magic help him along it's Les Miles. For christ sake, last year Pitt beat West fuckin' Virginia. The man is a sorcerer with coal-black eyes and the soul of a mystic warrior. Oh, and Texas looks pretty darn ok...
I'm starting to think that the position of Quarterback is an important one...

4) How interested are you in knowing the current status of your favorite candidates for sainthood? Do you often wonder where Mother Theresa stands in the complicated process? Do you stare out your window on a bright sunny day pondering when you will be able to celebrate the ascension to sainthood of Cardinal John Henry Newman? Well, saddle up to this Time Magazine primer on the current farm system for the new generation of top-tier Catholics. My write in candidates: Joilet Jake and Elwood Blues.

5) What they don't tell you is that she laughed for 10 minutes after watching "2 girls, 1 cup".

Well, that's about it. Wait! I just remembered; I am supposed to be finding a way to make my forgetfulnesss up to you, the intrepid readers. I think I might know a way...