And the Wichita Lineman is Still on the Line.... (UPDATED!)

I don't really have a rant planned right now.

But I also don't really feel like teaching you something right now.

By teaching I mean like my Three Stooges lesson, or perhaps volume 1 of Histories of Badasses. I should really devote more of my time to badasses, because they rarely get the credit they deserve from small time morons who essentially blog to themselves...

But I just wanted to share with you a couple of videos @rainnwilson showed me through the twitterbox.

Which brings me to my next point, kids: Don't drink and drive.

Apparently Glen Campbell is still making kick ass country music. I know nothing about his new album, but it looks like covers of popular songs of the day. The one Rainn (we're personal friends, so I call him Rainn. Sometimes "The Rainniac", but that's few and far between. You don't want to over use a golden nickname like that...) showed the twitterverse is this:



Now that's seriously some good stuff. Campbell was long known as a premiere studio musician and guitarist in his own right.

Which brings me to modern day country.

If I can invent a time machine, I will go to summer of 1966. I will go straight to the clubhouse of the New York Metropolitans. Once there I will lie in wait with a pair of bolt cutters until Tug McGraw comes out of the shower. Obviously my next move will be to castrate him of his manhood.

Next I plan on inventing one of those Innerspace vehicles. I will shrink myself to microscopic size and travel to Knoxville, TN-in my time machine, of course-to 1967. There I will infiltrate the blood stream of Karen Chesney. I will follow her circulatory system until I come to her ovaries. Once there I will place explosive charges upon said ovaries, and along the uterine wall, for good measure. Once my ship leaves her body I will remote detonate her womb so she will never be able to bear children again.

Upon returning to my own time and size, I can relax. All our worries are over. I invented time travel and miniaturization for the sole purpose to ensure that Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney were never born. For you see, it isn't enough to kill them now-the damage has been done. Their putrid musical bile has infected the world. No, I must ensure that their plague of country-pop and white undershirts worn as proper shirts never existed...

So, joining my campaign to combat their shit, Glen Campbell is still making music. At least he's not doing blow with Trent Reznor...

Well, how about that!! I taught you something, and I went on a pretty good rant there. This just goes to show that you never know what will happen on this crazy river we call life! Here is some more Glen Campbell. Have a good weekend, Internetland!





UPDATE (12:58pm): Sorry, I just had to put this up as well. It's James Taylor and, not to be mean to Mr. Campbell, it just blows him out of the water. Of course telling you James Taylor is the man isn't exactly telling tales out of school...