Twilight is just really, really awful

Hey guys! And by guys, I mean all the millions who read this site. And by millions, I mean hundreds of Chinese girl babies left on mountainsides. And by mountainsides, I mean Ricki Lake...and by-well I think that's enough...

Apparently my hatred of...well, everything, caught the attention of some fellow Shamus' at the University of Alabama-Birmingham.

Now, we all know the Blazers of Birmingham as the guys who you put on your non-conference schedule 3 or 4 years out, and then they scare the ever-living shit out of you for no good reason. Not to knock my new good friends, but come on---UAB shouldn't be able to scare a church mouse while he's performing in-vitro fertilization on a hemophiliac butterfly.

But somehow they do. Plus, Birmingham is home to Black Sabbath and Steve Winwood. Oh, I'm sorry, what? You don't say? Well, I'll be.....

Folks, apparently there is a Birmingham in England as well as Alabama! I guess we'll never know which one hates Twilight...

WAIT! Turns out the only reason I'm even giving a shit about anything I'm talking about currently is Twilight-specifically my recent post concerning Twilight. And how much I love it...

Sarcasm is fun, kids, but while you're attempting to get it, log in to your facebook and join this group: Twilight is just really, really awful.

To be honest, I'm flattered to even be found by your esteemed group, and am more than pleased to promote your cause. If only to look at that picture:

One...One fist...against your temple! AHhahahahaha!

The Count just has so much hatred and vitrol coursing through his felt veins that in any fight between that sparkly pothead, Edward (which may or may not be sanctioned by Mike Vick {wink!}) and the Count, I take The Count any day.

You know, it comes to my attention that I never dealt with True Blood. I have never read the Sookie Stackhouse books, which sound like recipes from female prisoners, and I have never seen the HBO show based upon said books. BUT: it did let me see an Oscar winner's tits...and I'm not talking about Robert DeNiro...so, for now, it's ok with me...

I welcome you to change my mind on this...

In conclusion, I am honored to have been found by the fine folks of Birmingham, Al. I agree with them that vampires have been ruined. I would also like them to know that Auburn cheats, and Bama football builds habitat for humanity houses as "rape-dens" for small toddlers and mentally disabled adults.

Geaux Tigers!!